Rabbi Mitchell Kornspan
On Shabbat Shuva, the Sabbath between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, I gave a drasha about our relationships. I shared how sad and inconceivable it was that friends and family have an argument and it escalates to the point that they will not speak to each other again. Often years go by and the reason for their animosity is lost. Yet, they hold onto this hatred forever.
I challenged that the message of the High Holy Days is that now was the time to change, to turn things around. It was time to forgive. It was time to reach out and say to each other, “I am sorry for hurting you.”
Can you imagine my amazement, when immediately following services another congregant approached the two former friends who hadn't spoken to each other for ten years! He said, “Did you listen to what the Rabbi taught? Isn’t it about time you shook hands and made up?”
What occurred was truly incredible. They did shake hands and once again became friends! Is there someone like this in your life, perhaps a friend or family member? What stops us from changing the situation? Is it stubbornness, pride, fear of rejection, pain? Wouldn’t we all gain from healing the relationship?
If you were told by a doctor that you had only one year to live, how would that alter the way you live now? Would you be willing to set aside grudges? Moreover would you begin to think about what is important and what isn’t?
I once participated in a guided exercise. We had before us blank sheets of paper. We were then given this premise: if your doctor just told you that you had only a year left to live…… Now write down what you would want to accomplish in that year. Then we were instructed to write anything and everything we thought about as a stream of consciousness. When reading this later on we were all struck by what was truly important to us.
We actually do this yearly at Rosh Hashanah through Yom Kippur. When the imagery of G-d sitting with books in front of Him are pictured and we can imagine our fate for the year hangs in the balance, we can then free ourselves to do real introspection. We can turn ourselves around from the improper and resolve and choose who we really can and should be.
To those who say you can never change, Judaism asks why not? Rebbetzin Penny and I wish you and all your loved ones a Lshana Tova Tikatevu Vtechatemu: May you be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Life for a happy and healthy New Year.
B’shalom,
